Scripture: Matthew 6:18- That your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
3 days shy of my boyfriend and I being together for 2 months, he decided that it was time for us to fast. He had mentioned maybe like week two or three of the relationship that he wanted us to fast together from social media. His reasons were that it would bring us closer together as a couple without it being a built in distraction when we spent time together and it would give us time to build a better communication foundation as well as a better spiritual foundation too. I couldn’t argue with that; I mean after all what woman who loves the Lord and is smitten with her boyfriend who also loves God, wouldn’t want to fast together to get these incredible results? The probability of us not having success with this fast was slim to none. We wanted nothing more than to be equally yoked. I thought from the beginning that this wouldn’t be hard at all.
The fast was to last 4 weeks. I figured it should be a breeze; I had fasted by myself for longer periods of time and I was really satisfied with what the Lord did in me, through me, and the blessings that came from it. My church also does congregational fast once every month and my pastor will list specifics instructions on how the fast will go from start to finish. So I’m pretty aware of the gist of a spiritual fast and felt that when my boyfriend suggested we get started on ours that I would be ready to go. Wrong, I wasn’t. My human side, said the timing was wrong. My spiritual side, said it was the right time and that it didn’t really care how my human side felt.
So for 4 weeks that meant there would be no Fleshbook, no Instagratifcation, no Twilight, oh and no Snapbabble (for him not me I don’t have one.). I felt like my boyfriend could have chosen to do the fast at another time; see the truth is my birthday was approaching. My human side was thinking that, this fast was going to seriously impose upon my birthday…..selfish. He assured me that God said that we needed to get started now. I could not understand what the insistence was about and would God really want me to miss my “Happy Birthday” shout outs on Facebook, LOL!?!?! I was still thinking about just me.
I collected my life and went on anyway with the fast. The arrangement was that we would alternate weeks of devotionals and scripture reading. So we each would get two weeks. Our time to go over the scripture, read the devotional and ask and answer questions would be over the phone in the evening time right before we called it a night. I started us off that Monday and kept telling myself that the benefits from doing this with him would be worth it, because it wasn’t truly all about me once I mutually agreed to being in a relationship with him.
My annoyance that left on day 1 of the fast had crept back by week 3 because, for crying out loud I wondered: What Exactly Does My Boyfriend Have Us Doing? The feeling was setting in, that this was making no sense to me. Satan was playing serious games with my emotions. Oddly enough one of the scriptures that I had us do that very week was Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5 and 6. It reads as: Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
You guessed it; I was leaning, actually I was more like pressing my entire body weight on my own understanding. Could we not still be on social media and do the devotionals and scripture reading during the evening time? I was perplexed. This fast is supposed to be about us as a couple not about me individually or him individually; yet somehow I had went back to making it about me.
I felt that my days were empty without social media. Scary, right? Say what you want but I believe that I follow some pretty dope people on the social media, from pastors, to other ministry leaders, to influencers and yup even some of my own friends. So to know that I couldn’t get that extra dose of inspiration and encouragement that they were handing out began to annoy me. I wanted in on the good statuses and memes too!! My emotions were heavy at this point, but I pressed forward in spite of how I felt. Which if anyone has fasted before knows that going forward no matter how much you want to quit is an essential piece of the process. Allowing God to work without interruption is key to get to the promise.
Coming down to the end of the fast, I had some minor health issues that needed to get checked out. I couldn’t give up now if I wanted to because I came too far. It was that 4th week, that I was able to experience for myself, my boyfriend’s deep faith in God. I just knew that my faith was in a good position, but I quickly learned through this minor defeat that his was stronger than mine and it was also something that I could lean on learn from.
In closing, everything that my boyfriend was telling me on January 7th ended up making sense. I had no doubt in my mind, at that point believing that he really did hear from God about us needing to start at that time. He never knew that I had a doctors appointment before we started the fast. So the timing wasn’t intentional to have my faith extra encouraged, but it somehow turned out that way because he obeyed the voice of Holy Spirit. He never knew that I would need his solid faith more than anything to help me cope. Looking back I believe the reason why God wanted us to do the fast, was so that I could participate in having a spirit growing moment with my boyfriend, that would surely set the groundwork for our relationship.
I now saw my boyfriend differently then I had before. He was no longer just the attractive guy that had a heart for the Lord, he was now the guy that I saw who has a heart for God, steadfast faith, prays like he knows God is listening, and it just so happens that he is attractive and has a heart for me too. I doubt that he and I would have had this faith growth spurt together as a couple early on in our relationship had I declined his invitation to fast with him. My flesh wanted to run in the other direction and tell him: “I’m gonna do me and you can do you”, but Holy Spirit was like: “not so fast, be still”. I’m glad that I listened and got out of my own feelings…..eventually. Satan would have robbed me of the opportunity to build what is now an undeniable, and stable spiritual foundation at the beginning of our relationship. While I didn’t believe initially that the timing was right, by week 4, I knew that the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. It made me think of Isaiah 55: 8- 9.
We ended up mutually agreeing that we will continue to do devotionals as a couple. God is great and when you put him at the center of your relationship where he rightfully belongs, incredible things are birthed from it. Our spiritual foundation was the first of many births for us.
Have you ever fasted with someone else and found it to be much different then when you fast alone? If so what, were the differences?